ups and downs

Today was weigh-in day and I am down again only not as much as I have been losing but it was a weight loss only 2 pounds. I am not gonna lie I am disappointed with myself. I have been somewhat lax in what I have been eating so I need to get back on track.  At the beginning of my journey I was cooking ahead so I was eating a good dinner and lunch I have let this slide and it shows so I will take this small weight loss as a kick in the butt. I am also trying to add more exercise so that should help as well. I guess I will find out next Friday when I weigh in. have a great week all.

Temptations

Well it was weigh in day again and I was down another 5 pounds that's 30 total ! I can't believe how well I am doing I really hope I can keep up the momentum as I have another 110 pounds to go. I feel really good about my progress and am amazed at all the food I turn down that I have never turned down before. Today I hosted a baby shower for a girl at work, it was a potluck luncheon and  many of my favorite foods were there two of my faves were brought by me, I guess I was testing myself. well I budgeted for a bit of a splurge but still didn't overeat! so yeah me!!! ha ha
I have been exploring new foods as I don't want to get bored and slip. sugar peas are my new addiction I bought a 227 g bag and the total calories are about 100 ( 40 calories per cup)there is no fat and they are delicious, the down size is they are really expensive but it is really worth it. so I have decided this will be added to my "can have" list.

Deny Deny Deny

I had a weigh in on Friday at the dietitian and I was down another 5 pounds, my total loss is now 25 pounds. I have this really bad habit of weighing myself 2 or 3 times a week and the scale gauges my mood, ridiculous I know but it is a reality for many people who are obsessed with weight. it is part of the eating disorder and as hard as I try not too I am just too curious. Overweight people have a lot of "tools" we use to keep us in denial for example 100 calorie snacks. these are pre-measured snacks that are OK to have occasionally when you crave sweets. well one pack is 100 calories not bad but often you buy a box of these snacks and eat the whole box which is now 1200 calories! there really is no reason to restrict yourself to treats but if you can't stop at one snack then don't buy them go ahead and buy the chocolate bar you were craving in the long run you will eat way less. another tool I personally use is buying clothes that are too big for me, I hate trying clothes on so I grab something I know will fit and buy it. Not a great plan because if you underestimate your fatness you will be seriously bummed and if you overestimate it you won't even be able to wear the clothes. but if they are baggy and you wear them people will ask if you lost weight! so you get to stay in denial. I have many many years of practice in the denial category, in the past I have often been heard saying I want to lose weight, while eating a giant chocolate bar. really I just said it to shut people up, who was I hurting? I was hit with the harsh reality of age and illness and figured I wanted to outlive my car so I better get busy and deal with the mess I had made of myself. best thing I heard about this getting healthy deal.... "we spend the first 40 years of our life killing ourselves and the next 40 trying to get better"

what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?

I have been pretty negative lately and that is not who I am or what this blog is supposed to be about. So I am going to try and stay positive and try and keep you all entertained as well. last summer I was being harassed by a woman at work I was getting very stressed out about the situation and developed anxiety attacks as a result. I went to the doctor and she prescribed an extra anti-depressant. well these pills stopped the anxiety but as a side bonus they have given me the funniest dreams ever I had one the other night that involved Wolf man Jack and I dancing the night away! I find that laughter always helps me feel better so when I am feeling particularly down I call my friend Monica. Monica is so funny she is fluent in sarcasm and can twist any negative situation into a funny situation. I just got off the phone with her and I am still smiling.. everyone needs a Monica, sadly mine lives 2 provinces away so I don't see her very much. My husband is also pretty hilarious in fact he is the first man I have ever been with that makes me laugh and I mean stomach holding bent over gut laughing. so my advice is this: if you find yourself in a shitty mood or situation, call your Monica, or watch a comedian on TV and just laugh, when was the last time you had a good laugh? PS: Laughter also burns calories :)





My Monica and me

FRUSTRATION

Yesterday was my group weigh in day , I gained almost a pound! I can honestly say I have no idea how, I have not cheated I have been exercising and still..... all the women that were there either lost weight or stayed the same and all of them said they cheated or they went out for dinner or didn't exercise! I find this very frustrating i just wanted to go home and eat chips..... but i didn't so yea me and i guess i will need to watch what i am eating and exercise more. and next week is a new week.

We must become the change we want to see... Mahatma Gandhi

The beginning of a new month is always good, its like a clean slate and you can look at your life and if things are good continue what your doing if not start over. last post I was pretty down I had lost some of my enthusiasm and I have to thank you for the feedback. I especially want to thank my Niece Tara. first of all I had no idea that anyone actually read this and to find out that Tara does made me feel very good, I feel recharged and ready to go. I have started another very physical job this week, cleaning the store I work at  3 days a week. I was planning on adding more exercise and this way I am getting paid to do it ha ha. I am doing fine with the food element IE: not over eating and eating very healthy. I could have killed a diet coke today though, I am really craving that vice. oh well i dreamt about smoking for almost 8 months after I quit and I didn't go back I am sure that I will be OK.

I thought this was a pretty cool picture of my family( well most of it) I am the little girl in the front in red. for some reason my brother Tom is not in the picture.. weird