spring....finally

Finally we have spring! I can walk outside I guess I can walk outside all year but it gets pretty cold here so I don't I hate cold. I feel that I am back on track with the exercise but I have been getting out of control with the food...shit. also Mats birthday is on Thursday and that always throws me for a loop he is always on my mind but the days leading up to his birthday or the anniversary of his death I shut down. it is getting better as the years go by but it still happens. I really miss him and I have so much guilt and so many regrets . I have not gained weight but I haven't lost any for over a month I need to get back on track  and i will do it I just need a kick in the ass.


My Mat I love you son and I miss you everyday